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Francine Caitlyn Chye
a.k.a. Hurricaine Fran
a.k.a. Fran the PCD
a.k.a. the happy bunny :D
<3
040889 (August baby!)
Crescent, ACJC, hocker
xoxo
If it's meant to be, it'll be(:
"And sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together"
don't think, just run
Saturday, January 21, 2006
I have the besterest OG in the whole wide world. As was discussed with my ever-so loyal lecture buddy, Andalite has ACTUALLY ONLY BEEN TOGETHER FOR LESS THAN 2 WEEKS!!! It's amazing how, in such an appallingly short period of time, a group of ROUGHLY maybe 14 people can become so damn close. Simply wonderful. I couldn't have wished for a better OG so spend my first few days in AC with and it's breaking my heart that we're 'going our separate ways'. I know that sounded super dumb since TECHNICALLY, ALMOST everyone will still be in AC after this week, but i mean the way i see it, we've spent probably most parts of our day with these people and suddenly POOF! It's a whole new different set of people, sitting arrangements etc... I'm not sure i like it very much :(
Sighs, i've been feeling really down recently... GROWLS... Cos of a number of things... For majority of it, i KNOW i should be looking at what i've gained as opposed to what i've lost/am about to lose/feel like i'm losing. I know that i should be looking at the bright side but apparently the duller and more hurtfully horrible side seems a hellava more attractive these days. It's fine when i'm surrounded by people but i guess after the excitement dies down, when i'm forced to relook my day, my life... It hurts a lot. And i don't want it to. This year, for me, was supposed to be symbolic of a new beginning-as corny as it sounds; a chance for me to erase the past memories and to start on a completely(or something along those lines) slate. It was appealing but it's not so easy. Especially after finding out some not-so-nice things, truths... I've tried to block it out, let them pass me by as if i don't care but honestly, though yes, i have become numb to it and it's associates, i can't say i've completely forgotten. As someone told me-i might have deleted a number, but i still remember it. It makes it easier to chuck it in the bin though, huh.
As for the other issue, my goodness. I don't wanna come across showing how much i'm aching but yet, i don't want regrets either. Honestly, i know i'm gonna feel indescibably lost and alone for quite a while and the missing... The missing i don't know if i'll be able to handle. I've lived with it, though under MUCH different circumstance for the past... 8-9 months and that nearly killed me... With this, this is so different. Yet, yet somehow it might be even harder. I'm scared. I don't wanna let go. I wanna be selfish and kick up a big fuss but... But again, i'll hold back cos now's not the time.
Sighs, tmr is a new day. For now, it's bed time (:
hearts-
ex-oh, ex-oh
3:10 AM
